AUSTRALIA'S NEW DEFENCE FORCES ____________________________________________ Australian Reader's      UnDigestible A MESSAGE FROM 'YOUR' PRIME MINISTER John Coward To: The Population of Australia (disregarding those who arrive by means other than those set down by a 'White' Australia Policy). Dear Citizens,     How are you?   I hope you are well.     The recent developments (some call it a 'tragedy') in  New York (so-called 9/11) and consequently, the retaliation-fiasco in the Middle East have resulted in the fact that we need an army to make sure that Australia is a force to be reckoned with in this 'conflict', our so-called 'War on Terrorism'.     Since our Australian 'Army' (mostly bull ants without testicles), 'Navy'  (several canoes without paddles and wrong creeks (or even creaks) (it's the dry season), a wind-surfer (high on speed)) and an Air-force pilot (a  BALSA-WOOD GLIDER FANATIC, whose main claim to fame is a new twist to his  rubber band for his propeller), leave very much to be desired.     Whilst in the past we have recruited (i.e. bludgeoned the innocent into cannon-fodder from the youngest members of society [We will remember them!] ), there are a number of changes that we must make to our existing recruiting policy, since we made you vote for us to be in charge of you.     We must all realise that the older members of our society (and there are growing numbers of these since they are the last post-war 'boom' ('there won't be another', 'it will never happen again.') are, at this stage in our history, going to put a burden upon the economy of your Australia by view of their burden on the public purse by way of pensions, Medicare and so forth, in the coming years. This, of course will affect the pensions and superannuation of those who claim control, i.e. your chosen government.     It has therefore been decided, by your government, that those persons over 50 years of age, should be the first to be recruited for our NEW AUSTRALIAN UNISEX ARMY *.     The logic/philosophy is a purely political one.     After the Last World War, that is, World War Two (or II), a great number of children were generated. At that time, the notion of 'Screw you" was directed at females, not politicians.     With our present knowledge, we, in our wisdom, have decreed that it is the children- 'OUR FUTURE'- who must endure, not the 'Older Person (they had Older Persons Year in 19-- and we have 50 cent coins to prove this).     These children, were/are known as the 'post-war boom'.  These children, in our society, are therefore now over the age of fifty.      It is known through advertising experts that the nominal age for purchasing goods (and extending the coffers of politicians' self-assumed entitlements to rip-off the public domain) is within the 20's age-group, (when people marry, have children and need to care for them.) The older folks, as we now call them, are only responsible for themselves. They've 'had their day'.     It is therefore obvious that those people born in the 1940's , and who will be a burden on the outcomes of students now entering schools and colleges, should be those who can form a NEW AUSTRALIAN UNISEX ARMY (NAUA) to protect them.     There is no doubt that the over-50's have skills. It is these skills that we require for our NEW AUSTRALIAN UNISEX ARMY.     History has PROVEN, beyond doubt that, that those over 50 (which include most of the world's controllers) have the skills to reduce the animal Man to dust.     There will be rewards for those survivors in this conflict. Upon landing back on these shores of ours/yours, they will be given a public applaud, medals, Certificates and keys to any cities remaining. Remembrance services will be held each year for those who do not make it. WE WILL REMEMBER THEM.     In the initial stages, there will be a general 'call to arms'. Those respondents who act immediately, will receive special gift vouchers from Koles, L-Mart and Alcocoa (amongst others). In view of the amount spent by the over 50's on home improvements, Burnnings declined our request to sponsor us. They have been 'targeted' for blacklisting.     Should the conflict become more unstable, or escalate, then a 'general call-up' will be instigated, requiring any 'reasonably-abled' body to become a conscript, especially over the age of thirty (30). This will be legally binding and enforced by our caring police force. Anyone objecting for any reason may be liable to imprisonment, euthanasia or other forms of incarcerated treatment including mustard gas testing, common cold virus or other forms of  biological testing.     Road-signs will then reflect that: 'Police are now targeting General Call-up Defectors'. New road-sign will reflect: 'REMEMBER - Over 50's in built-up areas unless otherwise signed.' This will be for the benefit of the blind.     We have already in place a method by which machine guns can be mounted on wheel-chairs and planes that will carry the 'Disabled' logo on their transport doors.     It is essential that this letter be read fully. Further details may be made to your local government representative but must include a self-addressed and stamped envelope. The judge's decision is final and no correspondence will be entered into. However, a blank cheque, signed and dated may be sent to: ripoff@gov.com.au via our secure server.     Acceptance of this letter by introducing it into your home from your mail-box, assumes that you are available for conscript and abide by the laws set down by your caring government..     To ensure privacy, this letter is sent in an unmarked envelope. * Unisex includes any person over the age of fifty, male, female, she-male, transvestite, cross-dresser, nudist, naturist, homosexual, lesbian or of any other sexual proclivity or persuasion. Signed, in his absence,     Ware Seegon Ware Seegon for John Coward Feral Prime Minister Canberra ACT Notes:     A blind version of this text is available in Braille. Please set your browser to:     www.textofthisinbraille.com.au     A deaf version is available on CD or is downloadable. Please set your browser to:     www.textofthisforthedeaf.com.au     (Please note, to hear this, you will need a pretty good deaf-aid and new batteries. These are available from any  good store who can understand what you are saying.)     For those without the use of hands or feet, we do not recommend any of the above. If you are so afflicted, please get some-one to register you.     Dead people need not apply.

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